If you can't get to sleep, here are some ideas:

1. ​Go to the bed at the same time every night.
2. Avoid fear producing and anger producing conversations before bedtime.
3. Avoid reading things that are worrisome or scary before you go to sleep (instead read a poem or an inspirational reading).
4. Watch the news early in the evening (not the 11 pm news).
5. Although exercise is good for you, complete your exercise before 8 pm (after 8 pm, it may energize your body and may inhibit sleep).
6. Don't eat a meal close to your bedtime.
7. Monitor your caffeine and alcohol intake.

If you can't stay asleep and find yourself awake between the hours of 2 and 5 am, try sitting up in bed. When we are lying down, we are in a vulnerable position.  Just sitting up gives us a different perspective, a different energetic feeling, and we can feel powerful, ready to:

1. Take some deep slow breaths which put us into a relaxing meditative state quickly.
2. Meditate for a short time.
3. Journal about what we are experiencing.
4. Open the window to let in some fresh air (even if it is cold, the fresh natural air can connect us with all of life).
5. Open a door to feel closer to nature (not necessarily possible in a high rise or in a neighborhood where we may not feel safe).
6. Make a list of things we need to do the next day or in the future. Frequently what keeps us up is the daunting knowledge that we have too much to do.  Writing a list can help.
7. Drink a warm cup of water or milk.

When we do these things, we are slowing down our active mind, and calming our body.

Grief and all of its manifestations are part of the human design. Grief is very important and has the capability to uplift us, change us, and yes, unite us. When you go through your own individual grief process and when you come to the point where you can move on easefully in your life, you may not recognize that you are an inspiration to others in their own lives. This has been my experience, and I’d like you to know that your inner journey has an effect on others in your community. In my work, I provided bereavement support to newly widowed spouses. I would be uplifted by their courage. I would be intrigued by their search for meaning. I would be inspired by their ability to just put one foot in front of the other and live their lives.

The aloneness of grief makes grief hard. Even if you are in the same family, each of you will grieve differently. You are alone because you are unique. Yet, at the same time, you are not alone because we are all together.

Many years ago, after my mother died, I wasn’t sure how I would make it. I remember driving down the street and noticing people in their cars and walking on the sidewalks. Many of them looked like they were of the age that probably their mothers had died, but they were driving along, walking along, and participating in life. If they could do it, I would, too. I had no idea who they were, but they inspired me to turn the corner and move through life with a little more cheerfulness and lightheartedness.

None of those people knew I was watching them and noticing them. In that very alone moment for me, we were all together. May it be so for you!

​(page 189, Harnessing the Power of Grief)

Why is it that the sun rising every day and setting every night is so beautiful to behold? Why is it that the moon's predictable phases inspire us? Why is it that the repetitious waves on the shore calm us? Rhythm.

These predictable rhythms are repetitious but not boring. Mohandas Gandhi said, "Monotony is the law of Nature. Look at the monotonous manner in which the sun rises. The monotony of necessary occupation is exhilarating and life giving (Duncan, R., ed., Gandhi, Selected Writings, 2005, p. 246)."

Some would say that rhythm is life. Rocking, being held next to the heart comforts a baby. 

When you go to work, you are following a schedule. This can bring you comfort, even if you think your job is not the greatest.

When you are in a state of upheaval, the dependable rhythms of life are disrupted. Your habitual way of living and habits of the heart have changed. Phone calls, visits, special shared events, the electronic buzz of emails and texts - these are a few of the dependable rhythms of relationships that change when a death occurs.

Appreciate the rhythms in your life and begin to create new ones - maybe a daily walk, getting up at the same time each day, eating at the same time for meals.

Many see the current global situation as frightening and want to return to the past.  Others look to the future with anxiety and foreboding. The general public in our country and all over the world is experiencing and in many cases is paralyzed by these thoughts and feelings: anger, fear, anxiety, isolation, loneliness, vulnerability, an existential crisis of meaning.  Anger manifests in the form of war, increased racism and hate crimes, and the reliance on drugs and alcohol to ease the pain.

I believe that the turmoil that we all are witnessing and experiencing in the world is a grieving process. These thoughts and feelings are a manifestations of grief, and have been building and building to this present day. This is not hopeless, although at times, it may feel hopeless.

The origins of this grief are in our recent collective memories: the loss of manufacturing jobs, the demise of the small family farm, continuing racism against all minorities, wars, climate change, the opioid epidemic. Many losses go back even farther to the beginnings of our country including the genocide of Native Americans, slavery, the subjugation of women.

Current articles describe the pain of widespread grief, but do not necessarily address grief’s transformational power. Grief is our natural human response to loss. It is painful, sometimes horrible and traumatizing. Yet it helps us to recognize and identify our loss, experience the pain of our loss, incorporate the loss into our lives, and then move forward into the future – changed.

We, as a world, seem to be stuck in the pain of grief. People in positions of power exploit our pain to hold on to their power, by “channeling” our anger and fear for their own purposes, or by denying or minimizing our losses and grief. It is time for us to recognize our global grief and move through it individually and collectively – changed and renewed.
Please see my article about this. https://medium.com/@julievpotter.dc/global-grief-2c2736ce464b
I will post ideas from my article here, but also hope that you will read my article in its entirety.

The Ukrainians are fighting a war with  limited military capability - a war they did not start. Their lives are in turmoil as they experience traumatic loss all around them - loss of life, loss of their homes, loss of security. Yet they move forward with hope - fighting against the odds, singing their national anthem, making Molotov cocktails, acting courageously in a dire time, not giving up.

What can we do to help, and to honor them? We can be informed about what is happening as a responsibility. We can accept that what happens in Ukraine  will have repercussions all over the world, including taking care of Ukrainian refugees, and experiencing the global fallout from financial sanctions against Russia.

On a day to day basis, we can be kind to one another, patient with one another, accepting of one another, as a way to spread brotherhood and sisterhood on our shores. The pandemic has taught us that we are all in this together. War teaches us that lesson too.

We can learn a sense of  humility. Wars in countries that are not like "us" or aren't modern like "us" don't hit home the way this war has. Think of the Middle East, Afghanistan, and Africa. Yet we are all the same.

The national flower of Ukraine is the sunflower. We can plant or buy sunflowers as a way to remember. In our apartment, we have a banner of a sunflower in our window. This helps us to remember, and to express our solidarity with Ukraine, and to peoples all over the world who are experiencing the trauma of war.